It's time to smash myPlate

Hi readers!  Y'all know by now that I am not a big fan of MyPlate, and that My Plate usually is a bowl, and filled with some meat and probably more than half the volume (at least before cooking!) of my home-grown organic veggies.  Nuts and dairy and fruit are usually off to the side, much farther away, like in a snack at a different time of the day.

Hey, get a load of this picture of the Kardashians tossing plates.  I guess they were stamped with the USDA's terrible-two-year-old MyPlate.  While they were in Greece, I sure hope they enjoyed a REAL Mediterranean diet.  I was going to fix the format, but I kind of like the way it spills all over the page, do you?

Here's the plate video.  Don't they all look smashing?  (Here's the link.)  Or, you can wait until the TV show features it.

(Check out the myplate category on the side for my earlier plate-y posts.)



http://www.splashnewsonline.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/spl534698_034-wm900.jpg

Now exactly, where does Health Start?

After my letter to Whole Foods the other day (and oh, they never wrote back....) I got ahold of an interesting flyer from Whole Foods.  It's called the whole deal.  Just so you know, this whole deal thing is trademarked, just like their vegan propaganda health program they call Health Starts Here.

Then again, it is pretty difficult to tell exactly where health starts from the flyer.  There is a chicken on the front cover, and hints of more animal things to come, with a container of chicken broth right next to the chicken and a stream of text at the bottom announcing that chicken is on sale too.

I open the flyer, and on the inside cover is a plate o' shrimp.  And so I am thinking, OK, plate o' shrimp, guess they are in on the joke, but then there were lots of animaly things in the flyer, including goat cheese in nearly about every recipe, except of course the recipes with the health starts here logo near them, cause they are vegan.

It didn't seem like health really started until about page 12, where the grainy foods and the tea were featured and the foods featuring flesh or animal secretions fell away.  This was several pages after the coupon for the artercloggingsaturatedfat coconut oil that they call "health supportive".

So what is up with that?  Does health really start here, after all the ads supposedly sponsored by all those evil meat, milk companies, and other profitable conglomerates Dr. MacDougall has declared war against?  Does health start with plain vegan and then settles into just plain coconut oil right out of the jar after a few months?

Maybe Whole Foods isn't as hostile a place as it was over a year ago, the last time I visited.  Maybe I'll give them another chance if I need some tea.

The Tuna Boat just Sailed In!

What a nice half-way-around-the-year reminder of my "Paleo on 100 dollars a month" challenge.

A friend called and mentioned that her friend's son went out fishing near San Diego and caught this huge tuna.  She was offered some, but was unprepared for two details.

First, she was given a ton of it.

Second, she found she doesn't like tuna.

Did I want to take it off her hands?  Sooooooo, here I am, after an unsuccessful market run looking for suitable epi-paleo eats on a budget, and an entire platter of freshly-caught tuna just drops into my lap, right before dinner.  Already perfectly seasoned.  She told me to keep the platter, too.

Since it was already seasoned in a rich blend of garlic, lime and some kind of Middle-Eastern seasoning blend, I decided not to eat it raw.  I didn't have to do anything except plop the huge slabs of tuna in a pan and lightly steam it until it was cooked enough to flake.

Mmmmm!  Tuna for dinner.  Tuna for breakfast.  Tuna all week.  Tuna coming out of my ears.  Tuna making me friends with all the neighborhood dogs and cats.  Tuna making me happy, too.

Paleo on 100 dollars a month - Days 13-16

I haven't been blogging because I was busy at paleo f(x).  No, not so lucky.  I wanted to track to make sure I got enough protein, and now that I am in cruise mode, I know I am getting enough and so ditched all the careful tracking in favor of just living.

This week I had plenty of extra funds to get the things I wanted, except of course for the pound of macadamia nuts and bar of good dark chocolate.  I enjoyed a huge selection of free teas from trader Chantel and a huge pile of broccoli from trader Dorian.  Chantel had said that the tea was 6 months beyond the expiration date, but when I opened it, I realized that it was over 6 years beyond the date.  It is still fine, and wakes me up just as well as tea freshly purchased.

I enjoyed one lone Girl Scout cookie from trader Erin, and gave the rest of the stack away immediately.  This did cause increased longing for sweets and treats later in the week.  I enjoyed free coffee from trader Tony, but passed on the huge plate of donuts and green cookies.  Tony had a choice of half and half, powdered creamers and other flavored creamers, plus coffee and hot chocolate, so I chose to add some hot chocolate.

I didn't add much chocolate so I took the rest of the package with me.  When I checked the label for the protein content, I was shocked that it had only one gram.  The ingredients list was a shocker.  There is no milk in it.  Products derived from milk, but mostly different kinds of hydrogenated fats, and even sucralose!  When did hot chocolate switch from cocoa, milk and sugar to chemicals, un-named milk derivatives, and into a strange food-like substance? (Unfortunately, it tasted pretty good!)

Purchases through the week:
eggs  1.49
shrimp 2.69
beef  3.00 (a poor choice, from a regular supermarket and tasted too conventional)
pork roast  5.05
slivered almonds .67
olives  2.29
beef 2.49
sardines 1.29
almonds .79

Only 67 cents left in the food jar.

Paleo on 100 a Month - days 10 and 11 High Seas

The shrimpfest was fun, so I went for another day of it.  This time the shrimp was still frozen and I told the meat guy I wanted the pieces that didn't have ice stuck on them.
"No problem, I'll just take off some for the amount of ice," and he took about 20 cents off my order.  Now, why didn't I know to ask for that yesterday? 
For breakfast I enjoyed eggs and liver with the usual.
For lunch, I enjoyed the shrimp cooked the same as the day before and the usual store freebies.
For dinner, I enjoyed a huge plate of ground beef with veggies.  Still hungry, I opened up a can of sardines.  I ate the whole can, but they are making them smaller than before.

Day 11 I settled into the same routine, with eggs and the last of the beef for breakfast, haddock for lunch, and even more of the leftover chicken for dinner, both served up with a nice portion of pea pods from trader Andrea.  (Note that I used up all the hurricane names for 1012 and have moved onto next year.)

My food is unrewarding and monotonous, but I don't mind all that much.  If I am losing any weight at all, I am sure it is due to the lowered protein amounts, not food reward.  One new arrival to the garden this weekend:  mache.  It has a brief season and is much appreciated.

And now, a word or two on seasonality.  I have gradually converted my garden from the typical showcase to just encouraging the things that want to grow on their own.  Of course it is still showy, but the mache comes up on its own, without any fertilizer or much water.  I just let it go to seed and it does it all over again every year.  The same goes for all the other shoots and roots I am eating right now except for the garlic and leeks.  They also grow themselves, but I do tend to transplant them.  I did plant beets and carrots on purpose this spring, and will follow up with the summer vegetables.  The tomatoes and peppers come up on their own, too, and I just have to transplant them.

Purchases:  Shrimp for $1.90
sardines for $1.00
Haddock for $1.23
Left over:  half the shrimp, 3 eggs, some almonds, half a pound of beef liver, more chicken, 2/3 of a container of coconut oil
Amount in the cash jar:  $7.58

Paleo on 100 a Month - day 9 The shrimp boat sails in!

Finally, the conjunction of a great sale and enough money.  I bought a small package of shrimp for today, and it was a surprisingly large amount compared to what I would get on a shrimp salad at a fine dining establishment, or even an entree.  Thirteen nicely sized shrimp, plus a bit of another one.

I wish I could afford a camera, because lunch was gorgeous and you would love looking at it.  Shrimp, spinach and carrot from trader Helene, kumquats from partner Chris, all cooked in coconut oil and garlic.  Delicious!

Unfortunately, I was hungry a few hours later.  Today I will try to load up on more fat.

Breakfast was the usual ground beef with greens, sauerkraut and a bit of orange.

On the run, I had coffee, half and half, some cheese and a small pc. of turkey meatloaf with broccoli.

Dinner was chicken and chard, with some fruit juice (plums from trader Sandy and orange from trader Chris), with sunchokes, winter squash and almonds.  I was so hungry afterwards that I made a couple of eggs with extra fat, and ate a few more spoonfuls of coconut oil. 

I spent $1.02 on the shrimp, leaving me with $4.57 in the money jar.  Is grass-fed beef in my future?  Probably not.  Even if I had the 6 to 8 dollars, non of the stores I currently troll have grass-fed beef right now, not even in the frozen section.  I will get by on the Trader Joe's ground beef.  The label says it comes from several countries, and some of them I am pretty sure do mostly pasture methods.  A recently-eaten package really tasted grass-fed, but the last one didn't.  Oh well, at least I am trying.  I am not convinced that the amount of grass really changes the omega 3 content much at all.  I think avoiding super fatty pork and chicken is probably a better contribution to a good O6/O3 ratio.  And there is probably some canned salmon in my future.

Paleo on $100 a month - day 7 - I'm bored

I want to go out and buy that big block of 99% chocolate that Dr. Kruse recommends, throw a couple of grass-fed ribeye's airlifted from the Midwest on the grill for an afternoon snack (wait!  I don't even have a grill!) and eat ten pounds of shrimp and crab from a trash bag in the living room and let the dog clean up the shells (wait!  I don't even have a dog!)

Then again, maybe I am just sick of chicken.  I bought it again, for $1.98, with an avocado for 50 cents and a tiny tiny bag of slivered almonds for 65 cents.  I really wanted to get some chicken before the sale was over, but I am totally ready to move on from chicken and over to the sale shrimp this week.  Hopefully it won't kill me or make me sick this time.

A favorite store has a huge sale on frozen foods and I am sort of bummed that I can't walk out with a whole bag of frozen bison, elk, venison, etc. for 20 percent off.  I might be able to get a package by the end of the week if I am careful.  But, I don't want to be that careful.  I saw the sale shrimp and I want it!  If I can't find a way to swing it by the end of the week, I am going to buy a bunch for the house and enjoy it on April 1.  Not because I am a fool, necessarily, but because it will be the end of the challenge.

For breakfast I had the pork with greens and sauerkraut and some orange juice from traders Patty and William.

For lunch I had cheese and coffee from traders Debby and Gordon, a package of really awful protein powder from trader Debby and garden bits and pieces.  One strawberry.  Two pea pods from trader Joyce.  One radish.  Two nasturtium flowers.  That is how real hunter-gathering goes.  As usual, I could have eaten about 30 snails, but I chose not to at this time.  I ate most of the avocado.

For dinner I enjoyed a large amount of ground beef with extra tallow, some trail mix from trader Valerie, a kumquat from trader Chris, pea pods from trader Joyce and my own vegetables in coconut oil.

94 cents left in the cash jar, and I am going in the wrong direction if I want to get some real meat.

This Just In for 2012 - The Lost Tribe of Atkins

Yes, there is still time to ring out the old and ring in the new.  Now you know that the "great upheavals and earth changes" and all that 2012 stuff are already here when Lori Corbin drops gems like "the FAT FREE revolution is over...."  For those not in LA, Lori Corbin is that slightly cute but mostly annoying health reporter food coach at a local TV station.  For years, it had been lots of boneless, skinless chicken breasts, tofu, and chronic cardio for her, and for everyone else she lectures.

Now that she has read Richard Feinman's wonderful  nutty post, she gone a little bit nuts herself.  Since his post came out only yesterday, it looks like they made a quick change to her segment, which like virtually all her other segments, was 100% fat free.  What she really said is, "the fat free revolutin is over, BUT CALORIES STILL COUNT." and then shows a preview of yet another fat free recipe.  Oh, I guess the great upheaval still needs a bit of upheaving.

In his post, Dr. Feinman humorously laments the very real fact that the "in crowd" diet researchers have "discovered" fat and have somehow managed to write a "peer-reviewed" paper that completely ignores ALL of the very real research done by the Atkins band over the years.  I state, Dr. Feinman, that the Atkins have been slighted, but really, what do you care what other people think?

The Atkins. That lost tribe, swallowed up by rising waters of stupidity, floating around somewhere near Atlantis.  But like any good 2012 story, the lost tribe of Atkins was more advanced and sophisticated than today's "modern" researchers.  We have been wasting so much time on the Mediterraneans or the Kitavans, but what about the Atkins?  Happily, the idea that civilizations cycle around has already been re-discovered by Graham Hancock  before Dr. Jenkins' behavior verified his theory.  Like the lost civilizations that went before them, the Atkins believe that they have been housing the original Ark of Nutritional Knowing of Dietary Good and Evil.

Now even Lori Corbin is cookin' with vapors, that ethereal fat-free calorie-controlled method.  So, they are circling around and around, and they still can't get to that slab of bacon, that large and powerful force of the universe, capable of redeeming and destroying.  It is very promising and dangerous, so it was important that commoners didn't try this at home.  It is so powerful, the researchers can't even look at it, or they would melt into dust.

Fearing its destruction by nervous political powers, the Atkins protected this revelation for many years,.  Overarching nutritional religions were established to counter the intense power the Atkins discovered, tasked with keeping this dangerous ("and above all, boring") dietary strategy out of the hands of commoners, who might revolt and free themselves from all tyranny.  The false religionists created powerless analogs to mimic essential archetypes of the ancients: pyramids, circles, institutional monoliths, fake learning institutions, secret herbs and tinctures, the supposedly-sacred 60-30-10 geometry.

Last night, I fell into a deep sleep, and in a dream, the good beings visited me.  In the dream, I went onto the internet in the evening, and even though I had installed f.lux and turned down the brightness to restrict the blue light, this huge fireball shot out of my computer screen, with blue, purple, gold light, of all the other colors.  It knocked me off my chair and reset my circadian rhythms.  In the middle of the ball of light, were beings, made of light.  They were eating a large pan of hot, dripping, crispy bacon.  They offered me some bacon.  I tried to turn away, but I could not, and at first, I thought I would melt, but I took a piece of bacon, and as I was eating it, this is what the beings had to say.  "It is just becoming harder and harder to ignore the evidence."

I predict even more earthquakes, rifts and upheavals in 2012.  Remember, you heard it here first!!!!

Are Dreams Paleo?

It's been tough-going in the Paleodome recently, especially if you are one of those puffy fat red-faced old people.  I was thinking later last week how much I wanted to pull away from it a bit, but also sad that this tribe I thought I would be able to fit into really has no place for me.  But, my discomfort was more than just that.  I had been thinking about the divisions, the hierarchies and the increasing rigidity and the grindingly boring one-sidedness of all the discussions.  And, I don't mean between the low-carbers and safe-starchers.  It's all so scientific.  Is being so scientific while lacking creativity, intuition, play, or harmony, is it really Paleo?

(Here's the musical interlude)

Such a division between the people at the top and their patients and fans, I concluded that my only role in the paleo world was to be a consumer.  Pretty much everyone is here to hawk their books, gyms, websites and products, to advance their careers and prop up their egos, or to be a patient.  Some have really been into the commercial aspect, others have been more freely giving and committed to "the cause".  But I wasn't being very good at this consumer part, as is any other consumer who is living in a van down by the river. Where is the part about just being?

Richard Nickoley has his Free the Animal.  But I want to free the Shaman, free the Fool, free the Dreamer, Free the Drummer, free the Mystic, free the Dancer.  Certainly they were as important to paleo life as caves, wild game, berries, macronutrient percentages and reverse T3 values?  More importantly, I want to be free.

Before I just gathered up all my atlatl's and left, I had a dream.  Now the really interesting thing about doing Dr. K's leptin reset it that I can sleep all through the night, without having to get up or anything, there is this very very long dream time before the dawn, and the dreams can go on with many passageways.

In my dream, I am working at a company as a consultant.  I have a long-term contract that I know will be ending soon.  I already started taking some of my personal items home from the office, my technical books, knicknacks, extra clothing.  One morning I get to the office and discover that the management decided to move on to the next big project right away, so they moved the office around.  They got rid of my office.  I can't find my desk or the stuff that I had carefully locked inside of it.  I am irked that they don't even have the decency to let me get to my desk to clean it out myself.


I mention to my co-workers that there is still work to be finished, but they say that the management cancelled everything, that they didn't even care about any of the documents, designs, blue-prints, nothing, or whether I have a desk.  We all think that was short-sighted.  My co-workers help me find parts of my old office:  my desk in one area, a chair down the hall.  They carve out a place for me as I go through my desk to get my purse.  They had put my desk near an older man scheduled for retirement.  He is really annoying, as he has fallen asleep at his desk and is snoring.  I make a mental note to call my business partner immediately, so we can find another gig.


Before I leave the office, I stop by a small courtyard outside the back.  It is the place were people go for a quick lunch or a smoke.  Someone had put in a small garden.  I noticed that there are several older lettuce plants that have gone to seed.  I pull off some of the seeds and notice that they are much larger than usual.  They look more like watermelon seeds than lettuce seeds, and I think, could it be that they are really lettuce?  That's when I remember that a like-minded friend had planted them.  They are a very ancient heirloom variety, and very rare.  I am sure the new management won't want these old seeds.  They are into the newer hybrid and genetically-modified varieties.  I pack them up with my four boxes of stuff and leave.

Now I am leaving the Paleo tent for awhile, not sure all where I am going.  I don't know all what it will be, but I do know more about what it won't be.

First.  I am not on a diet.  Not a low-carb diet, not a "safe" diet, and if you are reading this, not YOUR diet!  It will be mine, all mine, and I am not going to tell you about it.  I am tired of measuring, tracking, defending, tweaking, adhering, and tired of having computer-chair experts taking pot-shots at it, telling me I am stupid for following it, or telling me I am stupid for not following it.  Maybe someday if I really figure something out I'll spill the beans.  I might keep track, but it won't be on the computer with big red circles around it.

Second.  I am not a patient.  I am not going to order expensive tests, go to expensive specialists, compounding pharmacies, and I am not going to be an A, B or C student.  I am giving myself credit for just showing up to my own study program.  I am not going to try to change my doctor's mind.  Actually, I am going to try to avoid doctors of all kinds.

Third.  I am not metabolically deranged.  Gotta love it when the experts declare their perfect theories of everything, and then deride people who share a different experience.  Well, I am no longer living under that tent.  I remember when Dr. Gardener was lecturing about his A to Z study and he said menopausal women were excluded from the study for obvious reasons which he'd get into later, but he never got to it.  Neither have most other diet researchers.  Menopause is not a disease or a condition!  For more than half of us, it is a way of life eventually.  And, if someone tells me I'm not whole or optimal or clean or perfect if I don't follow their program, well, then it is their program that is deranged, not me.

I have always been a fan of Dr. Richard Feynman, the other doctor Feynman, that real Paleo guy.  In college, when I saw him playing drums out in the desert, I told myself, hey I'm going to do that some day.  About 20 years later I had the opportunity to learn to play the drum.  Recently this drummer group I used to be in has re-formed.  We play for a tribal dance group, and I get to play flutes, strings, drums, zills and didges, sing, yelp and clap my hands.  These people are my people.  I'm going to hang out with them for a time, at least until the next performance.

This week, I heard my neighbor's dog barking so I went outside to see what was going on.  A sidewalk conversation had turned into a party.  So, a realtor, an oncologist and a pilates instructor walked onto a sidewalk..... I turned off my computer and joined the party.  Soon the wine was flowing, pumpkins and other backyard fruits were exchanged and we were planning the next party.  I want to do more of this.

I'll visit and comment on other sites when I feel like it, and comment on this here blog when I have something to say.  That may be tomorrow, who knows.  Maybe I will be happy with one night of freedom.  I am cooking up some other projects for this winter, and with a big project in March, so stay tuned.

More Plate-y goodness! Better than Plate o' Shrimp?

Looks like everyone is having plate-y fun this week.  What's not to love about the USDA plate??  Tom Naughton is at it again.  You can laugh here:
http://www.fathead-movie.com/index.php/2011/06/06/the-usda-explains-my-plate/
I know why the little sector's aren't even.  It has nothing to do with the amount of each food we should eat.  (In fact, the whole idea has nothing to do with what we should be eating, IMHO.)
It's really a copyright thing.  Check this out:
http://www.rockypeaklc.com/hbdi.html
I have used the Ned Hermann Brain Model extensively in my career, back when the USDA was still tinkering in the land of the pyramids.  Note the plate shape, the Jungian Four-ness, and all the pretty colors.  There is blue for protein (to match the blue that is used as a molecule in all those chemistry model kits.)  There's even a green zone for green veggies, a yellow zone for the higher-carb yellow and orange veggies, and a red zone for tomatoes, watermelon and raspberries.  And you don't have to worry about that little dairy planet, circling around the real plate like Neptune.
Here's some history, and a new and better plate:
http://www.fitbomb.com/2011/06/its-not-that-hard.html
And another favorite of mine (warning, may by unsuitable for some eaters):
http://paleozonenutrition.wordpress.com/2011/06/04/myplate-alternatives/just-eat-real-food-myplate/
I still have a fondness for plate o' shrimp.  Please take the time to visit my earlier post and scroll to the bottom to get the link for the Repo Man vid:
http://exceptionallybrash.blogspot.com/2011/06/plat-o-shrimp.html 
(I just can't get enough of Repo Man!  "Put it on a plate son, you'll enjoy it more...." Makes you think that the USDA plate was developed by a walk-on.)

Plate o' Shrimp

Wow!  Just Wow!  I was JUST thinking about what to eat for dinner, and I opened the freezer, and I saw the shrimp all wrapped up in a blue container, and I thought, "Hey, I think I'll have a plate of shrimp."  And then I get on the internets and find out that there is a new food plate to replace the old food pyramid.
Cool Huh?  (So cool that they bought a whole new domain name in all it's plate-y goodness.)  Here it is:
http://www.choosemyplate.gov/
I really liked the Metabolism Society's truncated icosohedron food "thing" because I really like all the Buckminster Fuller stuff, like domes and pyramids.  Remember this?
http://www.carbohydratescankill.com/1750/old-news-for-april-1-2011
Then again, I was also a fan of the four food groups from years ago, since it was so Jungian.  I guess we have covered all the appropriate nutritional geometry and have come full circle, back to Carl Jung.
Plates are cool.  Who wouldn't like a plate graphic to remind me what to eat?
Here's my favorite plate:  http://www.fredsmusicandbbq.com/category_s/54.htm
Hmmm, how about a plate o' shrimp for every meal?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DLGrXGEMOSo&NR=1  Enjoy!